wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops