Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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