Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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