A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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