What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops