What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My spelling is horrible

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

thumb_up thumb_down -4

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops