Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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