What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Dwarf Shortage

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops