What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops