Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Hello penis

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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