salad days!

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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bite me

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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