How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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