It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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