Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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