Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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