A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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