Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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