Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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