What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Fox News

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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Daniel is a fag

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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