You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

It's likely that very few people will read this.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

What's just not right? Left

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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