How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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