Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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. . I am a whale

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops