Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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haha

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like if your cool

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops