What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Cancer

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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