A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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