There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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