Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Golf.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops