Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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