My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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