what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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