How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -32

diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops