If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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dyslexic's Untie

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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