Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Weaner

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Peas

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops