Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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