What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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