How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops