What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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womens rights.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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