Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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