A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

Connor is homo

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Waseem is a hard worker.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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