How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Tall asians

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops