Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops