Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

i wonder who made this website? a human

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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