Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops