Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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AIDS

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops