why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops