What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

eh

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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