A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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