What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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