How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

Kobe Bryant passing the ball

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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