What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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