A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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