Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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Phew... it's gone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops