Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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