You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

Wait! hundred billions!

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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