Dwight Howard

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

If the 49ers won the superbowl

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

Take part of what?

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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