What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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Your mom is not fat!

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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