Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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