What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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